Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
