Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
