I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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