is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
