what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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