oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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