I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
