dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize
