I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I cut my penus on the lid.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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