I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
