i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
