I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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