office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
