Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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