im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
