Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
