you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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