i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
The best revenge is premature balding
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Someone shattered a urinal.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
My dick has a subreddit
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
