omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
