I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
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And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
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I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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