I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize