Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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