it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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