I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize