Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
