Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
