There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
