she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
