I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
