Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
