I think i peed on brittanys purse
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
