Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
