How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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