It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
