drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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