Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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