If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
either way he was missing a nipple.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
