"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Someone shit on the floor
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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