I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
And then he peed in my hair
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