did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
