Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
