On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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