What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
