I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
