I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize
