if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
