It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
