Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
