I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
