we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
