What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
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At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high