even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis