Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
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I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
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We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.