I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
