Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
