ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I think my moral compass just broke
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
