I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
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