College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
