hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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