My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
