All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
