i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
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At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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