Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
