Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
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