I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Randomize
