Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
