Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
