Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
