But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Where is the hickey?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
