OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize